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脑内的100%在我笔下连2%都写不出来。

You Won't Let Me - Rachael Yamagata

翻完23章节的我的心情……为总裁窝心




“I ruined your life.  I sent you into hiding.  I made it so the death of your identity was the only way to find sanctuary.”  He shut his eyes tight before lifting them to the sky, “When my parents cared about nothing but my performance, you cared about my hobbies.  When my colleagues cared only about how they ranked against me, you pushed to better myself.  You cared for me before the money.  The fame.  The stature…”




“我毁了你的生活。我让你躲藏起来。我做出了这些事,所以销毁身份避难成了唯一的途径。”他闭上眼睛,而后又睁开,把视线投向天空:“当我父母只关心我的表现时,你只关心我的爱好。当我的同事只关心他们如何才能超越我的排名时,你促使我变成一个更好的自己。你关心我甚于钱财、名声、成就…"




“When you left, I…I needed another you.  Except they were always missing…something.  So I’d make another one.  And another.  And another – “




“所以当你离开的时候,我…我需要另一个。只是他们总是缺少一些...东西。所以我要再做一个,又一个,另一个——“




“I sat up here, alone, at the throne of our empire; unable to have, or buy, the one thing in my life I needed to be…functional.  And I resented you for so many years for taking it away.”




“我独自坐在这里,坐在我们帝国的宝座上;我无法拥有或购买我生活中唯一需要的东西…我恨你这么多年,因为是你把它带走了。”




.....




“I shouldn’t have listened to Amanda.” He blinked away the anger and regret, “If I could go back and fix things…to change them, so we’d be in this house, together.  Maybe have those children we talked about.” He choked, “I just want you to know…I would.  And I don’t expect you to know what it’s like to live with that kind of guilt, but for what it’s worth…I am sorry.”




“我不应该听阿曼达的话。”他眨了眨眼睛,把愤怒和遗憾都用那个眨眼扔到了一边:“如果我能回去解决问题……去改变它们,那么我们还会住在这所房子里。也许还有我们讨论过的那些孩子。”他哽咽着说,“我只是想让你知道……我会的。我不指望你知道带着那种罪恶感生活是什么感觉,但不管怎样....我很抱歉。”




......








He pushed you away.  Placed you in a new pair of hands; those of an android – the being he’d created from the long nights you’d spent with him in the old, shitty house the two of you had lived in.




他把你推开了。把你放在一双新的手中,那个仿生人手里——那个从你和他一起度过的漫漫长夜,在你们俩住过的破烂的老房子里,他创造出的存在。










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